My rating:
2 of 5 stars
Otherworld Stories 8.2: The Ungrateful Dead by Kelley Armstrong
It would be nice to see this zombie tale play out to the end, likely after Jeremy has joined the party, but it doesn't. What you do get I'd a lot of ghost heckling, Jaime attempting to be patient and reasonable, with a healthy dose of Savannah's snark and humor added to the mix. Entertaining, but still lacking on a whole.
Mr. Bear by Joe R. Lansdale
What on earth did I just read? This is by far one of the most disjointed and generally disturbing short stories I have read in an anthology that I can currently recall (and I usually have a pretty good memory for my books). Mr. Bear is so far beyond anything remotely good or acceptable that it's not even laughable. Jim, on the other hand, is essentially a captive that willingly goes along for the nightmarish ride. He should have taken a clue after that horrible flight and ditched the bar the second he saw Bear there in the first place.
Hell in a Handbasket by Lucien Soulban
Yet another version of "what on earth did I just read?" Innocence is apparently embodied by the baby Eve and used in a joke war between an angel of Heaven and a demon of Hell. I'm sure the story could have been stranger, though I'm not really sure how at the moment.
The Eldritch Pastiche from Beyond the Shadow of Horror by Christopher Welch
I wonder if the protagonist here is actually the form of many a writer over the ages as they struggle to get that first publication approved. It would feel like a type of insanity to repeat the same process continually for the same result when that result yields nothing of value, wouldn't it? Otherwise, it's just another messed up "horror" story with no real humor or horror at all.
Elivs Presley & the Blood-sucker Blues by Matt Venne
In this alternate reality, Elvis is not only a rock star, but a vampire
and self-proclaimed vampire hunter all rolled into one. Of course the story has to be told from his point of view to top it all off. No thanks. I prefer Elvis as the human he really was.
No Problem by Don D'ammassa
The only summary I can think of to this is "Frankenstein gone wrong." Instead of reanimation by lightening, we have a serum that essential makes them a type of zombie.... though apparently not as mindless as once presumed. So much for covering up all those murders.
Old School by Mark Onspaugh
I'm not sure this even qualifies as a short story as it's just over page on my e-reader. A zombie raising goes horrifically wrong, leaving a lot of mental lamenting over different things as the car of people messing with forces they don't understand ends up the center of a hungry zombie horde instead of just having one hungry zombie on their hands as intended. Though how they thought they'd deal with even just the one is a mystery to me. Ends up just feeling way to short and a little on the stupid side.
The Sound of Blunder by J.A. Konrath & F. Paul Wilson
This has got to be one of the strangest stories I have ever read. It took multiple tries to get through it despite how short it is. The repetitive names, constant abuse, rehashing of events/woes, and general bad air of the whole thing make it feel like you're wading through muck against a grinding stone to get through it. Could have done without this one.
An Evening with Al Gore by Charlaine Harris
This is Charlaine Harris, so the vampire angle really shouldn't have surprised me. I have read the entire
Southern Vampires/Sookie Stackhouse series after all. Still, it feels more like a history piece until the last little bit. There's always that hint that there's something else going on, but there really are no definite tells as to what that something may be until the end. Well written in that respect, but still didn't really enjoy it like I'd hoped. This book is proving to be very difficult to wade through.
Dear Prudence by Steven Savile
Okay... this guy obviously hates his wife, and it sounds like she may not be entirely human if the list of ways to kill supernatural creatures is anything to go by. Seriously though, how many ways can you write an "I hate you, I want you to die, gone shopping" letter? I lost count and I don't think it was interesting enough to go back and try again.
A Good Psycho Is Hard To Find by Will Ludwigsen
So apparently surviving some psycho trying to kill them with a chainsaw wasn't enough excitement for their lifetime. They had to
become the chainsaw wielding psychos. That definitely would not be a recommended way to keep a relationship alive.
High Kicks & Misdemeanors by Janet Berliner
This is one strange story after another, but an ostrich spirit guide and death squad masquerading as Rockettes? Pass.
PR Problems by Eric James Stone
A ghoul laments over vampires and werewolves getting all the good press, but then uses it to his adventure when the stupid vampire can't tell he's a ghoul (who can change into a hyena) and not a werewolf. Guess it's a good thing they killed the serial killer first or they wouldn't be "alive" to consider good or bad press.
Hellchaser 0.5: Where Angels Fear to Tread by Sherrilyn Kenyon
As if the name Ezekiel wasn't a hint, Zeke gets a new life/destiny thanks to a coin left to him by Michael. Gabriel is set to the task of informing him.... though personally I think there are still a lot of holes in how he's supposed to live his new life and exactly what he's going to be doing. Guess that's where the imagination comes in.
Harry the Book 3: A Very Special Girl by Mike Resnick
The names alone are so out there that it feels like I'm reading a bad comedy. Those names are supposed to be hints to the actual person, but sometimes they are just redundant (like Gently Gently). Bookie work and romance don't mix here, especially when the would-be romance is a mashup of too many problems to count.
Love Seat Solitaire by D. L. Snell
Never thought I'd read a story about a psychotic ghost goldfish. Since when could goldfish throw knives, play video games, write (albeit badly), or play card games?
I Know Who You Ate Last Summer by Nancy Holder
That escalated quickly. I guess it kind of had to for how short it was, but... wow. Looks like it'll end up the same way as
Hamlet; everyone dead.
Bitches of the Night by Nancy Kilpatrick
This one hinges directly on Dracula lore, only we have Istvan instead. With the bad Dracula accent even written out, it made me cringe to read it. One poor vampire against three... make that four.... vampire wives. His misery is his own fault.
The Bell... From Hell by Jeff Strand
I really doubt something as simple as a bell would ever actually call Satan, even if you do have to ring it over 600 times in one go. Then there's the parting line: "love conquers all... but in a pinch, you can fake it." Yeah, that's real great pearls of wisdom to pass on there.
Dead Hand by Sharyn McCrumb
Apparently the media is more frightening than racing and potentially crashing cars if this zombie is any indication. I say zombie, because he's a dead star driver brought back to life who'd rather die on the track than do the media circuits. He's really not a zombie in the traditional sense though as he basically passes for human. Amusing overall, but as short and pointless as most of these have been.
The Dresden Files 10.2: Day Off by Jim Butcher
A quick bit of Dresden action to end off the book. Given that I actually do enjoy
The Dresden Files and Butcher's brand of humor, this was a refreshing quick read after drudging through the rest of the book. A few highlights that I initially picked up the book for, but otherwise, this was only one I didn't really plan on that I enjoyed. Kind of sad, but also glad that this is the note they chose to end on.
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