Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion (2023)

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


While this is still a stand alone story that has as much to do with those of the living world learning about the haunted mansion and it's inhabitants, in many ways it is more true to the original story for the Disney ride it is based off of and at least some of the characters that are iconic from the park. It is less of a comedy than the previous attempt to bring the ride to the big screen in The Haunted Mansion, and has a bit more of a spooky/horror twist to it without actually being a horror film given it is still intended for families as the target audience. Madame Leota and Crump (though unsure a name was ever known for the ghost with the "hat box" on the original rides) are central characters when it comes to the ghost side of the story. We even see the bride make an appearance, though she doesn't have nearly as large of a role in the film as she does in the rides. The ending is the most fun, bringing the dining room dance to life, which honestly was the only part of the ride I enjoyed for a long time until I was much older.

Angels of Death

Angels of Death (2018)

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


This was a very strange anime, adapted from a game by the same title. Ray starts off having no memory of why she's in a hospital, which ends up being a multi-floor basement that is essentially a madhouse. She ends up forming a very strange friendship/alliance with Zack. Every individual in the house except for perhaps the priest appears to be nothing short of a bloodthirsty killer. Different varieties, but all obsessed with games and death. The priest apparently runs and observes everything for the most part, though this does not mean that his own floor isn't covered with it's own traps. Ray ends up being very different, while still the same, than we expect given the first initial encounters. Her memories are slowly brought to light as they travel through the building looking for the exit, finding a floor that was her own before she was ended up in Danny's hospital wing. Would not advise watching if you don't like blood, violence, or just straight up insanity. All of these characters are very strange in unusual ways.

Blood Lite

Blood Lite by Kevin J. Anderson

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Otherworld Stories 8.2: The Ungrateful Dead by Kelley Armstrong
It would be nice to see this zombie tale play out to the end, likely after Jeremy has joined the party, but it doesn't. What you do get I'd a lot of ghost heckling, Jaime attempting to be patient and reasonable, with a healthy dose of Savannah's snark and humor added to the mix. Entertaining, but still lacking on a whole.

Mr. Bear by Joe R. Lansdale
What on earth did I just read? This is by far one of the most disjointed and generally disturbing short stories I have read in an anthology that I can currently recall (and I usually have a pretty good memory for my books). Mr. Bear is so far beyond anything remotely good or acceptable that it's not even laughable. Jim, on the other hand, is essentially a captive that willingly goes along for the nightmarish ride. He should have taken a clue after that horrible flight and ditched the bar the second he saw Bear there in the first place.

Hell in a Handbasket by Lucien Soulban
Yet another version of "what on earth did I just read?" Innocence is apparently embodied by the baby Eve and used in a joke war between an angel of Heaven and a demon of Hell. I'm sure the story could have been stranger, though I'm not really sure how at the moment.

The Eldritch Pastiche from Beyond the Shadow of Horror by Christopher Welch
I wonder if the protagonist here is actually the form of many a writer over the ages as they struggle to get that first publication approved. It would feel like a type of insanity to repeat the same process continually for the same result when that result yields nothing of value, wouldn't it? Otherwise, it's just another messed up "horror" story with no real humor or horror at all.

Elivs Presley & the Blood-sucker Blues by Matt Venne
In this alternate reality, Elvis is not only a rock star, but a vampire and self-proclaimed vampire hunter all rolled into one. Of course the story has to be told from his point of view to top it all off. No thanks. I prefer Elvis as the human he really was.

No Problem by Don D'ammassa
The only summary I can think of to this is "Frankenstein gone wrong." Instead of reanimation by lightening, we have a serum that essential makes them a type of zombie.... though apparently not as mindless as once presumed. So much for covering up all those murders.

Old School by Mark Onspaugh
I'm not sure this even qualifies as a short story as it's just over page on my e-reader. A zombie raising goes horrifically wrong, leaving a lot of mental lamenting over different things as the car of people messing with forces they don't understand ends up the center of a hungry zombie horde instead of just having one hungry zombie on their hands as intended. Though how they thought they'd deal with even just the one is a mystery to me. Ends up just feeling way to short and a little on the stupid side.

The Sound of Blunder by J.A. Konrath & F. Paul Wilson
This has got to be one of the strangest stories I have ever read. It took multiple tries to get through it despite how short it is. The repetitive names, constant abuse, rehashing of events/woes, and general bad air of the whole thing make it feel like you're wading through muck against a grinding stone to get through it. Could have done without this one.

An Evening with Al Gore by Charlaine Harris
This is Charlaine Harris, so the vampire angle really shouldn't have surprised me. I have read the entire Southern Vampires/Sookie Stackhouse series after all. Still, it feels more like a history piece until the last little bit. There's always that hint that there's something else going on, but there really are no definite tells as to what that something may be until the end. Well written in that respect, but still didn't really enjoy it like I'd hoped. This book is proving to be very difficult to wade through.

Dear Prudence by Steven Savile
Okay... this guy obviously hates his wife, and it sounds like she may not be entirely human if the list of ways to kill supernatural creatures is anything to go by. Seriously though, how many ways can you write an "I hate you, I want you to die, gone shopping" letter? I lost count and I don't think it was interesting enough to go back and try again.

A Good Psycho Is Hard To Find by Will Ludwigsen
So apparently surviving some psycho trying to kill them with a chainsaw wasn't enough excitement for their lifetime. They had to become the chainsaw wielding psychos. That definitely would not be a recommended way to keep a relationship alive.

High Kicks & Misdemeanors by Janet Berliner
This is one strange story after another, but an ostrich spirit guide and death squad masquerading as Rockettes? Pass.

PR Problems by Eric James Stone
A ghoul laments over vampires and werewolves getting all the good press, but then uses it to his adventure when the stupid vampire can't tell he's a ghoul (who can change into a hyena) and not a werewolf. Guess it's a good thing they killed the serial killer first or they wouldn't be "alive" to consider good or bad press.

Hellchaser 0.5: Where Angels Fear to Tread by Sherrilyn Kenyon
As if the name Ezekiel wasn't a hint, Zeke gets a new life/destiny thanks to a coin left to him by Michael. Gabriel is set to the task of informing him.... though personally I think there are still a lot of holes in how he's supposed to live his new life and exactly what he's going to be doing. Guess that's where the imagination comes in.

Harry the Book 3: A Very Special Girl by Mike Resnick
The names alone are so out there that it feels like I'm reading a bad comedy. Those names are supposed to be hints to the actual person, but sometimes they are just redundant (like Gently Gently). Bookie work and romance don't mix here, especially when the would-be romance is a mashup of too many problems to count.

Love Seat Solitaire by D. L. Snell
Never thought I'd read a story about a psychotic ghost goldfish. Since when could goldfish throw knives, play video games, write (albeit badly), or play card games?

I Know Who You Ate Last Summer by Nancy Holder
That escalated quickly. I guess it kind of had to for how short it was, but... wow. Looks like it'll end up the same way as Hamlet; everyone dead.

Bitches of the Night by Nancy Kilpatrick
This one hinges directly on Dracula lore, only we have Istvan instead. With the bad Dracula accent even written out, it made me cringe to read it. One poor vampire against three... make that four.... vampire wives. His misery is his own fault.

The Bell... From Hell by Jeff Strand
I really doubt something as simple as a bell would ever actually call Satan, even if you do have to ring it over 600 times in one go. Then there's the parting line: "love conquers all... but in a pinch, you can fake it." Yeah, that's real great pearls of wisdom to pass on there.

Dead Hand by Sharyn McCrumb
Apparently the media is more frightening than racing and potentially crashing cars if this zombie is any indication. I say zombie, because he's a dead star driver brought back to life who'd rather die on the track than do the media circuits. He's really not a zombie in the traditional sense though as he basically passes for human. Amusing overall, but as short and pointless as most of these have been.

The Dresden Files 10.2: Day Off by Jim Butcher
A quick bit of Dresden action to end off the book. Given that I actually do enjoy The Dresden Files and Butcher's brand of humor, this was a refreshing quick read after drudging through the rest of the book. A few highlights that I initially picked up the book for, but otherwise, this was only one I didn't really plan on that I enjoyed. Kind of sad, but also glad that this is the note they chose to end on.

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The Haunted Mansion

The Haunted Mansion (2003)

My Rating: 2 of 5 stars


Based off the Disney ride by the same title in the theme parks, this literally brings the Haunted Mansion to life. It's both twisted and tries to teach the importance of family all at the same time. As I really don't enjoy the ride, I didn't expect to like the movie either. It was enjoyable, but not a favorite by any means. A good fit for our current Halloween themed movie run with the holiday coming up.

Van Helsing

Van Helsing (2004)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


I've seen a lot of vampire movies in my day, and this is one of the weirder ones. Van Helsing has always been something of a legend in the paranormal circles, but I am unconvinced of if this film gives it any justice or not. Watching it years later, it still isn't holding my attention, though it is rather strange to see Hugh Jackman with long wavy hair. Part of the downside of this is the sub-par cgi when it comes to the paranormal abilities. These are a main piece in selling this type of film. Odd mix to think vampires and Frankenstein should go hand in had, though I suppose it should be expected given they also include the werewolves. Seems only the witches are really left out of the line up.

World War Z

World War Z (2013)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Having seen Resident Evil and plenty of like-minded films, I wasn't all too thrilled to find this one on our watch list. Rather than your traditional zombies, these ones are fashioned after actual animal habits and only respond to sound and movement, going idle otherwise. On the other hand, this means that they are much more resourceful when chasing after their food source as they will literally climb on each other to make (non)living ladders to their prey as opposed to those who would be trapped at the other side of a simple fence. Their "antidote" isn't all that great either as it just intentionally infecting all humans with a disease in order to "mask" them from the zombies. The zombies will adapt and/or the humans will all succumb to this new disease they've infected themselves with in order to "survive." Great plan there. Ultimately it's still creepy and not all that different from the zombie films that have come before, despite the hype.

Down These Strange Streets

Down These Strange Streets by George R.R. Martin

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I have had a really hard time digging into this book, as evident by both the rating and the amount of time it took me to read it. Sure, books are taking me longer to finish as more of my time is spent either working or with my daughter than reading, but May to July? Nearly 3 months for one book. Ouch.

Originally picked this up because it had shorts from authors that I normally read. Sadly, they mostly seemed to be filler that you could already more or less guess from the main series and didn't fill any real gap or need. The rest of the stories were dry and failed to draw me in, lending to the extended reading time. Maybe I would have been more interested in them if I knew more of the stories or characters aside from the brief snippets given at the start of each one. Either way, this book was overall a rather large disappointment that I finished more out of sheer determination than a desire to find out what happened next.

The only saving grace that earns the second star is Patricia Brigg's snippet from the Mercy Thompson series. I adore that series and never seem to get enough of it. This was the only part of the book that I didn't take a break during or have to trudge through to finish. Wish I could say that about more of the book.

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Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse

Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse (2004)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


My husband loves these movies. They're a little gory and repetitive for my tastes however. More zombies, more fleeing for your life, more of Alice saving the day, and more fighting. It feels like this series is just stuck on repeat.

Pan's Labyrinth

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


This is one extremely creepy movie. I like some horror films, but this did give me nightmares. Taking place during the Spanish Civil War, a little girl find a whole new world of danger and wonder as she tries to save her mother and her unborn sibling. Adding to the little girl's appeal is the idea that she is a lost princess proving her worth to meet her long-lost father and king. Too bad those challenges will cost more than her own future.

Resident Evil 4: Retribution

Resident Evil 4: Retribution (2012)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


I walked in on the last part of this and wasn't impressed enough to want to go back to the beginning. These movies seem repetitive, lacking in any new story line or character development. The daughter was interesting for a moment, but being one of many clones just like her mother, quickly lost appeal as they continued with yet more gunfire, trying to get away from the company, and staying out in no-man's-land to escape the flesh eating "zombies." Can't help but hope they don't make another as all that's really put into is more gore, and that's already old news for this series.

Constantine

Constantine (2005)

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Not much in the way of story line here. Constantine has technically died once as a result of his ability to see those walking in human skin who don't belong on earth. Now he fights to keep them off the earth and save his own soul, already condemned from his previous suicide attempt. Doubt the lung cancer helps in that equation. For a film about demons and angels, I didn't find it to be nearly as frightening as expected after all the hype and ratings.

The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys (1987)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


The idea behind this film was something along the lines of Peter Pan's the Lost Boys meets vampire lore. An interesting concept to say the least, but not executed as well as it might have been. A bit jarring as it plays out, it's an interesting set, but not one I'd keep on the shelves for a re-run.

Financial troubles force a recent divorcee and her teenage sons Mike and Sam to settle down with her father in the California town of Santa Carla. At first, Sam laughs off rumours he hears about vampires who inhabit the small town. But after Mike meets a beautiful girl at the local amusement park, he begins to exhibit the classic signs of vampirism. Fearing for his own safety, Sam recruits two young vampire hunters to save his brother by finding and destroying the head vampire. 

- source: listal

The Wicker Man

The Wicker Man (2006)

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars


Nicholas Cage plays patrolman Edward Malus in this mild horror film. Recovering from a roadside accident, he is drawn to the pagan island Summersisle by a letter from his runaway fiancé asking for help to find her missing daughter, Rowan. The villagers are uncooperative, everything points toward Rowan either being dead or held captive for a secret ritual. Hallucinations do not help Malus keep his calm as he learns Rowan is his daughter and time is running out. Little did he expect that the wicker man was in fact a wood construction in the form of a man made by the villagers to house their yearly sacrifices. This year the sacrifice includes Malus and his missing daughter is the one holding the torch.

Silent Hill

Silent Hill (2006)

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Not as bad as some horror films, though still definitely on the creepy scale. Based on a game, this film is about a mother and daughter who unexpectedly find themselves separated and lost in the horrors that are Silent Hill. The story unravels as both sides of the phenomenon try to find answers and bring the girls back home. Don't watch it if you can't stand strange creatures and blood. There's a reason it's rated as a horror film.

Saw

Saw (2004)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


A lot of repeat scenery, probably keeping to a lower budget. From the title and knowing it was part of my husband's collection of horror films, I expected a creepy bad guy going around with a saw. What I didn't expect was a crazy mastermind that locks his victims in compromising situations where the only way out is to kill others and maybe even yourself. In the case of the main two victims here, they are locked in a rundown old bathroom, chained to opposite sides of the wall with instructions to kill one if the others family is to be saved. Their only reachable weapon is one saw for each of them - too weak to cut through their chains, but strong enough to cut through their own flesh and bone. The cover would be more accurate with a severed leg as that's what it takes to form any hope of escape. Hard to run missing a leg while bleeding out and having no clue where you are. The clock is ticking and no one is meant to survive.

House of Wax

House of Wax (2005)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Most places titled a house of wax exhibit wax figures of movie scenes or well known people. This one appears to be very well done and entertaining. Up until these unsuspecting visitors learn its horrifying truth - the statues are made from real people. It turns from a camping trip gone wrong to a flight for survival from the brother serial killer artists. As with most horror films, the torture is frightening, the suspense is nerve wracking, and not everyone will come out alive.

Hostel

Hostel (2005)

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Two students backpacking through Europe can't resist the ideal of sex and drugs presented to them. Of course things aren't as they appear to be. The girls do want their bodies... to sell in the flesh market of an underground hunting group catering to those who'd like to torture and kill their own choice of meat. Gruesome and horrifying, the victim becomes the killer as he unexpectedly tracks and maims individuals involved in the grisly slaughter. It seems everyone in this backwards little town is in on the take and it takes a ugly miracle for one determined, now mentally warped, teen to escape. This is totally going on the nightmares list. Give me something fun and lighthearted now please. I need to bleach my brain of these images.

Dawn of the Dead

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

My rating: 2.5 of 5 stars


This film was much more realistic as far as zombie films go. Sort of a more mild version of Resident Evil. No superhuman powers or fancy fighting. Just outright infection, dying, coming back a zombie and shooting to survive. Very similar in the effect of how quickly it spreads and how only a few survivors end up on rooftops or in oddly rigged trucks as they get chased and surrounded by those who'd rather have them for dinner. Decent if you like zombie films. Not my favorite of the bunch.

White Noise

White Noise (2005)

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Jonathan Rivers discovers a new side of reality after his wife dies and a message is brought back to him from beyond the grave. Now hearing messages from beyond in the "white noise," he tries to find his lost wife while saving others who appear on the screen. What he doesn't realize is that those inside are controlling the messages and leading him deeper into their web, to his own death.

666: The Number Of The Beast

666: The Number Of The Beast by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


The stories obviously don't go too in depth or develop very far because they are short stories. What they do give you though are glimpses of various spooky happenings of a very wide variety. Some are harder to puzzle out. Others are just simply enjoyable. Nice variety for an anthology.

This includes the following stories:

• A Trick of the Light by Chet Williamson
• Channel 99 by Peter Abrahams
• Empire of Dirt by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
• Erased by Jane Mason
• Ever After by Isobel Bird
• Grandma Kelly by David Moody
• Haunted by Ellen Schreiber
• If You Knew Suzie by Heather Graham
• Imagining Things by T.E.D. Klien
• Incident Report by Joshua Gee
• La Fleur De Nuit by P. D. Cacek
• Saving Face by Christopher Pike
• Scapegoat by Robin Wasserman
• Shelter Island by Malissa de la Cruz
• Slam Dance by Bentley Little
• The Legend of Anna Barton by Laurie Faria Stolarz
• The Little Sacrifice by Joyce Carol Oates
• Wolfsbane by Sarah Hihes Stephens

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